Dear Mr. President,

First, thank you for taking time away from your busy schedule to read this. I know you are a busy man with your 3:00 AM tweets, being the most stable genius in the White House. It makes me so proud to know you still have time to have someone read you letters from your constituents. It’s especially important because I think I can help you.

Let’s be honest, sir; there’s a lot of talk about you having negative numbers. Why, there are even some reports going around that you’ve got the lowest polling numbers in history for this stage of your presidency! I’m sure you know it’s from those “fake news” sources like The New York Times and Gallup. The problem is not everyone else does. You need to get those liars to stop, and since you’ve probably found out you can’t rewrite the Constitution, here’s a really simple solution. I know you aren’t much of a comic book fan, sir, but hear me out. There’s a title that can still help you, I promise. It’s called GREEN LANTERNS.

GREEN LANTERNS #39 Review: Timely Battle

It’s a very interesting book, sir, and even better, it has a lot of pictures for you! GREEN LANTERNS is about these two people who become part of the Green Lanterns, a space police force armed with magic rings. They safeguard the universe and keep things in order. These people are even from Earth! These Lanterns are Simon Baz and Jessica Cruz.

Wait, hear me out…

I’ll bet those aren’t the kind of names you’re used to hearing. However, it would help you with all those pesky racism accusations. I know you say you’re the least racist person ever, but remember, people need to see it! Anyway, I think you should really read the last story arc of the GREEN LANTERNS comic, called “A World of Their Own.” It’s about this alien world called Ungara that just pulled itself out of a dark time thanks to a new leader. That should be really familiar to you! In fact, if it’s easier, you can think of Ungara as America; I think the writers would really like it if you did. You can even think of yourself as its new leader!

That’s the new leader with the sword. Her skin is even the same color as yours!

The Biggest Story Ever

The big threat in the story is this group of Ungarans that don’t like the refugees coming to their planet. I know you’ve seen guys like them before! The two Lanterns and the leader decide they want to help the refugees out. Here’s where I think it’ll really help you out, Mr. President. I know you’re not a racist, but I’ll bet you don’t have a lot of experience with refugees or people that look different from you. Well, here’s your chance to learn! It can be hard to disagree with a large group of people that look like you, so GREEN LANTERNS makes a lot of things clear. The refugees are sad because they lost their whole planet, just like you lost all your casinos. Imagine if you lived in one of them as it was closing, and I think it will make sense.

Tax Reform is Taxing

The story explains the other side, too. The Ungarans don’t like hurting people, they just have a very specific goal for their world that involves hurting people — just like the groups you know of! See how much you’re learning already! However, you need to see the last part of the story to really learn the most, Mr. President. A group of Ungarans had a lot of terrible things to say about the refugees, and then someone tried to wipe them all out. Consequently, look how everyone else reacted.

Isn’t that something to think about?

In Conclusion, Mr. President

I know things in Washington are harder than you expected. You need some help to get back on track. So I implore you to get started with GREEN LANTERNS. This story will let you relate to people better and be the success you believe you can be. So tonight, Mr. President, turn off the TV, sit in your robe with your McDonalds and call Ivanka (or Melania or whoever the First Lady really is) in to read you some GREEN LANTERNS. Do it for America.


A Concerned Comic Book Nerd

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